It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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