WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
i think my cat just said my name.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
