VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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