You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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