And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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