Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
