Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize