Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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