She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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