my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
