That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
