and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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