dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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