One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize