Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize