And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
