I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
