You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
