It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
