i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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