Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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