His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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