she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
