Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
