Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
