i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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