we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
