Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
