nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
