there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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