As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
