My girlfriend figured out who you are.
please come you make the beer taste better
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
