was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
