I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
