Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
