hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
