I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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