so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the day after is always just damage control
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
