I queefed so loud it echoed.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
A bitchslap is in order.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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