Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
