Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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