I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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