i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
