who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
