my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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