i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
