walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
