i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize