i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
