How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
