i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize