Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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