It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I got inside last night via doggy door
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize