do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
