if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
