Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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