this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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