I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
