Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Even my vagina gasped.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I enjoy the company of your penis
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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