Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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