You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
