So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
