R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
