Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize