Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
