Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
