just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
